Want better sex? Licensed sex therapist and couples’ counselor, Jessa Zimmerman, shares the 5 biggest pitfalls to great sex based on research and ways couples can change them.
In this podversation:
- #1 - Issues with Sexual Desire and the multiple ways this shows up
- "The partner with the lower drive controls the spigot"
- Start with the assumption that "The person who wants sex less has really good reasons for it" and they need to be explored.
- The difference between proactive and reactive responses to desire
- We need to expand our definition of sex ..."Let's just go to the playground and decide what we want to do when we get there"
- The Mojo Interactive Sex Questionnaire for Couples
- #2 - Neglect
- The need for couples to have frequent and consistent rituals
- #3 - Distraction
- How mindfulness and tantric practices can aid present focus and sex
- "Settle your stuff at the door and pick it up later"
- #4 - Avoidance
- "Play YOUR cards first" i.e., reveal how you're thinking and feeling and own your part first
- #5 - Negativity verging on hostility
- "You can stop the bleeding on your own"
- The sacredness of intimacy and why Jessa prefers "openness" over "vulnerability"
Meet Jessa Zimmerman
Jessa Zimmerman is a licensed sex therapist and couples’ counselor. She specializes in helping couples who have a good relationship but who are avoiding sex because it’s become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured.
She educates, coaches, and supports people as they go through her 9-phase experiential process that allows them real world practice in changing their relationship and their sex life.
She does this work through in person therapy in her office in Seattle, online therapy for Washington residents, her Better Sex podcast, and her soon to be published book aimed at helping couples who are avoiding sex.
Connect with her further at:
www.jessazimmerman.com www.sexhealthquiz.com www.seattlecouplescounselor.com/community